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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22965022">there was a time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnfanatic/pseuds/randomfills'>randomfills (spnfanatic)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A/U, Angst, Human Castiel, M/M, Mentions of Jess, POV Sam Winchester, Pining Sam Winchester, Prompt Fill, SPN Kink Meme, Sad Sam Winchester, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, dean/cas - Freeform, hunting is a thing, mentions of Castiel, mentions of John Winchester - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:21:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22965022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnfanatic/pseuds/randomfills</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So I’d really like to see a scenario in which Sam has been pining over his brother for years, and when he finally gets up the courage to tell Dean, Dean says he has something to tell Sam as well. Sam tells Dean he can go first, and Dean tells him (with the widest, most stupidly oblivious grin) that he and Cas have finally gotten together. Sam is heartbroken, but pretends to be happy for them and doesn’t say anything. Later, DeanCas have been dating for years and Sam finally musters up the courage (again) to tell Dean how he feels but again Dean has something he wants to tell Sam. Sam, not eager to be blindsighted again, spills everything. Dean just stares at him, and it turns out he had just proposed to Cas, and Cas had said yes. I would appreciate an emphasis on how happy Dean and Cas are together, with lots of pining!jealous!Sam and no wincest or wincestiel.</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>https://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/149482.html?thread=46438122#t46438122</strong></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, unrequited Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Supernatural Kink Meme</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>there was a time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam was a baby when Dean pulled his brother out of the fire that engulfed the house and mom. Dad was a grieving mess, inconsolable except when he was holding a bottle of Jack Daniels.</p><p>Sam was 4 years old when he realized that monsters were real and one was growling in his closet. He wailed as a worried, overprotective big brother, Dean came charging in with a shotgun full of salt that looked way too big to be in an 8 year old’s hands. Sam was 4 when he realized his brother was a hero.</p><p>Sam was 8 years old when he realized Dean would do anything to protect his little brother, like beating up the bullies in the school yard and being led to the principal’s office with a grin and a ‘aww, didn’t know you cared, Sammy, don’t you worry your little head, I’ll be back before you know, it’s just detention or something.’</p><p>Sam was 12 when he finally realized he was in love with Dean, with his stupid smartass remarks, ‘give ‘em hell’ attitude, too big leather jacket and off-key rock music singing.</p><p>Sam was 14 when he was finally able to join Dad and Dean on a hunt. It was a simple salt and burn and Sam ended up not doing much, just standing around as Dad found the grave and dug it up while Dean shot the ghost whenever it got too close. It took them less than 20 minutes to burn the corpse and Sam watched the ghost shriek. He wondered where it went when it was finally put to rest. Surely it didn’t just poof out of existence.</p><p>Sam was 16 when he debated on telling Dean how he felt. He ended up chickening out.</p><p>Sam was 17 when he got accepted to Stanford. Dean was surprisingly cool with it. Dad was not. But Sam didn’t care how dad felt.</p><p>Sam was 18 when Dean came up to him with this stupidly wide grin, like nothing in the world could make Dean less happy than he felt. Sam was sure even if his brother got shot, it wouldn’t wipe the grin from his face. Sam had tried to work the courage up to tell Dean how he felt again. It may be his last chance before leaving for Stanford. Dean apparently had news of his own.</p><p>“I have something I want to tell you, Sammy,” Dean said eagerly.</p><p>Sam gulped. “Sure,” Sam said, his throat going dry for some reason.</p><p>Dean pulled out a folded up piece of paper from the back of his jeans. “Actually it’d be easier for me to show you. Here,” he said, thrusting the paper into Sam’s hands. His smile turned shy as Sam unfolded it and stared, feeling his heart stop.</p><p>“Well?” Dean asked, when Sam just swallowed the lump in his throat.</p><p>“This is a uh photo,” Sam said softly. A photo of Dean and a guy with dark messy hair and blue eyes. They were sitting next to each other sharing a beer on the impala. They were smiling. They looked happy. Sam flipped the photo over and saw that it was dated back to a month ago. “Is he...are you guys…” His voice kept trailing off. Sam couldn’t finish his sentence. He looked up to see the bright twinkle in his brother’s eyes.</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean grinned. He took the photo back. “He’s my boyfriend I think. We haven’t really been official-not yet anyways. I told him we couldn’t be official until he met the family.” He paused looking at Sam, searching his face for something. Sam had to turn away. Dean cleared his throat. “He’s coming over tonight. I already told Dad.”</p><p>Sam choked. “Oh.”</p><p>He met Cas that night and as they all ate dinner together, Dean and Cas laughing at some inside joke, part of Sam couldn’t help but notice it had been a long time since he heard his brother laugh. And Cas, some new guy who wasn’t Sam, got to make that beautiful sound come out of his brother. Part of Sam couldn’t help but feel jealous.</p><p>The next morning, Sam got on a bus to California. He decided he could try and be happy for his brother and focus on school.</p><p>When Sam was 19, he still found himself daydreaming about Dean. Dean and his big goofy smile and his stupid way of ruffling Sam’s hair and getting on his nerves the way a big brother does, his stupid voice saying ‘driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole’. Dean who was his big brother and protector and guardian and mother and father all wrapped in one. Dean who was with Cas now. He found himself going to the nearest bar and getting wasted and picking up the first person who was eager to come back to his dorm with him. The sex was terrible but Sam tried to pretend he was ok.</p><p>When Sam was 20, he managed to forget about Dean for a little while. He was going to be a lawyer and he was going to get into Jess’ pants because she was pretty and sophisticated and liked Sam and was most definitely not Dean.</p><p>When Sam was 21, he got a call that would change his life again. It was Dean. He wanted to meet up with Sam when he was available. Sam hesitated. Jess didn’t work out and Sam was lonely again.</p><p>Being the giant idiot that he was, he told Dean ‘sure, are you in California?’</p><p>“Yeah, man, actually right outside Stanford campus. Come to the parking lot,” Dean said. There was a bounce to his voice that had Sam’s heart racing.</p><p>This was it. Maybe he could do it now. With more courage than he felt, Sam whispered, “Ok. I’ll meet you there.”</p><p>“Great.” Then Dean hung up.</p><p>Sam jumped out of bed and scrambled to find a dark tee-shirt and loose jeans. He put on socks and boots and was out of the door within minutes. Dean was right where he said he would be. He had parked the impala near the front and was leaning against it with his arms crossed. He wore dark sunglasses to block the beam of sunlight. His black tee-shirt was tight looking and his jeans hugged his legs well. All in all, Dean looked good. Sam wondered briefly how he looked in his ratty jeans and worn out boots.</p><p>“Hey,” Sam greeted, voice strained. He still couldn’t believe Dean was here.</p><p>Dean grinned and went to hug his brother. Sam welcomed it, dreamt of this moment since he left for college. “Hey, little bro,” Dean said. He let go and studied Sam. “You’re looking alright.”</p><p>“Not as alright as you,” Sam said.</p><p>“Yeah, well, I just came to tell you something,” Dean said, rubbing the back of his neck.</p><p>They stood in silence for a moment. Sam had to work up the courage before it all went away again and Sam would be miserable for the rest of his life. Before Dean could tell him whatever it was, Sam blurted, “I’ve been in love with you, Dean.”</p><p>Dean choked. “What?”</p><p>This was not the reaction Sam had been banking on. Still, he got this far. Might as well go all the way. “I love you. Like more than just a brother. You’ve been my hero and idol and I can’t find anyone I love more than you, Dean,” Sam said, trying not to shake with all the warring emotions inside him. He was not going to cry in front of Dean. He was not.</p><p>Dean’s eyes softened, and he rubbed the back of his neck. He turned away from Sam for a moment. “Uh I don’t know what to say to that, Sammy. I just came here to tell you I just proposed to Cas and he said yes.” There was an awkward pause. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>After that, Sam didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t realized how in love Dean had been with Cas. He just stood there, awkward and alone, as he watched Dean back up to the car, head hung in shame. He could see the love Dean had for him, but it was only for Sammy, his baby brother who he was told to protect. Sam watched silently as Dean drove away.</p><p>Sam was 21 when he realized that he may love Dean in a way no brother should, but Dean loved Cas and maybe always will.</p><p>
  <strong>THE END</strong>
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